The hall of existential crisis
by Catnipisnotonfire12
Summary: Phan. Dan has been going through a pretty low point in his life - a point so low not even malteasers and a Buffy marathon with Phil can save him from. So, as Dan sits there flaling in the hall of existential crisis, Phil stays by his side and comforts him. They both end up finding out more about themsleves than they realize. R&R no hate please. One shot.


**The Hall of existential crisis.**

**Phan.**** Dan has been going through a pretty low point in his life - a point so low not even malteasers and a Dexter marathon with Phil could save him from. So, as Dan sits there flaling in the hall of existential crisis, Phil stays by his side and comforts him. They both end up finding out more about themsleves than they realize. R&R no hate please. One shot.**

**My first Phandom Phanfiction, so be nice :3 ..I don't own...Well, Dan or Phil. It is weird saying that, I've never written real life people fanfics before! :P Set around the time Phil uploaded the "Meet my Mum" video.**  
**Enjoy!**

"Yeah, Okay. Yes- fine, I get it." Phil Lester held his phone at arms length, trying desperately to end the conversation with his mother.  
"How should I know? The video has only been up two minu- I'll call you when there's some feedback. Okay. Yeah. Love you, bye." He hung up with a grateful sigh, Phil loved his mother but he wasn't a child anymore. (Though you could easily believe he was with  
his behaviour).

_Right. Video uploaded, time for tea and toast. _Phil thought, grinning. He began to make his way to the kitchen when, passing through the hallway, his foot tripped over something. _Something large. _

_Someone. _

Dan Howell, his room mate and youtube partner (and his straight friend who Phil felt unrequited feelings for, but he tried to ignore that), was lying face down in the middle of the hallway - Dan's "hall of existential crisis".  
"Dan," Phil addressed, unsure of what to say.

He didn't bother replying; at least not using the english language anyway. "Uhhh!" Dan groaned, lifting his head slightly before slamming it downwards into the cream carpet.

"Hey now," Phil said, "don't do that. You'll hurt yourself," _the last thing I want is for you to be hurting, Dan. _

Dan shrugged. "So?" Phil didn't reply straight away, but instead knelt down to lift his friend up. He swung Dan's arm around his shoulder and _literally dragged _him to the side of the wall; deciding to just prop him up there, Phil couldn't lift him to the couch in the other room - he was far too heavy - and Phil doubted Dan would willingly stand and walk there.

"You need to lay of the malteasers Dan, you're heavy." That, apparently, was the wrong thing to say. Dan just groaned again.

"I've been trying to get fit for years - who do I have to get fit for? Youtube? That's a joke. No one cares. My life is meaningless, I just-" he hung his head in defeat, cutting off mid sentence. His head lolled onto Phil's shoulder; face buried in his neck.

Phil's heart pounded at the closeness, and resisted the urge to reach to the side and entangle his fingers into Dan's. Instead, he just shook his head and carried on.  
"Just what, Dan?"

Dan sighed, shrugging again. He was making a habit of that. Turning slightly so he could talk, Dan whined "Just, I'm one human with one life and one chance to do something. Even then I'm just one person - one insignificant person in a world of over seven _billion _people."

Automatically, Phil frowned at this. "Dan, you're not meaningless. Look at what you have done, you're a Youtuber!"

Like a true sadist, Dan laughed sarcastically. "Big whoop. I talk to a camera."

Phil pushed Dan forward - marveling at the closeness of them - and stared at him directly.

"Dan Howell, you do more than talk to a camera. You share your life with those people who subscribe to you, you make people laugh, you cheer people up - _we _do all this, together. People love you - love _us _- so much that we were given our own radio show. You're great at what you do, in fact, you're better at our job than me - you've reached two million subscribers, that means two million of that seven billion know how much you're worth Dan. Know just how _significant _you are."

Despite the fact that this wasn't the first time Phil had had to pull Dan out of a fit from the hall of existential crisis, Dan's eyes were watery at the brim. He forced a smile, so Phil did too.

"Thanks, Phil." He muttered, for the first time since Phil almost tripped over him he didn't sound full of self-loathing. "It...It hasn't really been that anyway. I mean, it has, of course. I'm always thinking that in the back of my mind, but I...I guess I've been confused."

Phil cocked his head slightly. "About what?"

Dan shook his head. "Nothing." He made a move to stand up, which Phil would usually allow him to do, but instead he was pulled back down.

"Listen, Dan. If you ever feel insignificant again, don't just remember the subscribers. Remember the people close to you, who care about you - _they _are the people who love you for who you are and make you significant." Phil was blushing madly, unable to break the hold his hands had on Dan's shoulders. _Stop it, shut up, abort! Abort! _His brain was screaming at him, but he couldn't.  
"You're significant to me, Dan Howell."  
That's when he did it. Gave into something he'd wanted since Philisnotonfire 1.

He leant forward slightly, crouching on the balls of his feet, and pressed his lips against Dan's.

Instantly, he pulled back - a horrified look on his face as Phil realized what he'd just done.

"Oh my God. Dan - I'm, I'm sorry! Look, I don't know why I did that-"

"Phil."

"It will never happen again I swear-"

"Phil."

"This was wrong of me, you were weak and I just got so caught up in making you feel important."

"Phil."

"Look, I'll go. Our subscribers will understand, give me a day to pack my stuff and I'll go back to yorkshire with my parents till I can find a place. It's fine. I'm sorry-"

"PHIL!"

Phil stopped his rambling, his eyes unable to look at Dan, instead he focused on the cream carpet and tried to will it to swallow him whole.

"Can you...Can you look at me?" Phil tried, but couldn't bare it. He could just imagine the look of disgust on his best friend's face.

"Please?" Dan begged, so Phil begrudgingly looked up at him. He didn't have time to judge Dan's facial expression, however, because within a fleeting moment of Phil looking up Dan had moved forward and merged his lips with Phil's.

Frozen in shock, Phil didn't move back for a second, but he relaxed and kissed his best friend back - his hands found his way to Dan's waist and Dan's clasp worked its way into Phil's hair.

They stayed like this for just a few seconds, before Dan pulled back, smiling - and looking happier than he had in weeks.

"That. That is what I've been confused about. At first I thought it was because I haven't had a girlfriend in ages, and because we were really close I'd begun to get, well, _confused. _But when you kissed me..." He beamed at Phil, taking his hand. "Everything was clear."

He inched forward slightly.

"I felt _significant._"

With that, he kissed Phil again and this time without hesitation Phil kissed back. They sure as Hell had a surprise for the Phan shippers in their next video, which would no doubt be filmed together.

Phil pulled back quickly for breath. "I love you," he whispered. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this."

Dan's lips brushed against Phil's as he whispered, "I think I have an idea." He smirked. "I love you too." He resumed kissing Phil, but not before muttering:

"This still doesn't mean we can get a hamster, though."

"Aww!"

**-Fin-**

**Was that any good? It began to get sappy so I had to add the ending :3**

**Please review! Now hate :3 love you all. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!**

**-Catnipisnotonfire12**


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